Winter sun is one of my favourite things in the world. Feeling the warmth of the sun on your face on a cool day is such a blessing! It's like a reminder that the cold is temporary, just a season. And it's a reprieve from the grey days of winter.
I want to share something of our latest struggle on the journey... For many years now we have believed that the church today is not what Jesus intended it to be. Instead of Sunday church, we have sought to live our lives with God on a day-to-day basis, aiming to love those around us, no matter where we are or what we're doing. For us, being a Christian is not about meetings.
So the question has arisen in the past few months - how can we still go to church without criticising and judging everything that we see happening in that place? We have always felt that as the people we care about go to church, we want to go also, so that we can be there for them. It was another point of contact with them. As time has gone on, our opinions about church have become stronger and our attitude towards the system has made it very difficult to be there at all.
Recently, God has been helping us to see things differently. A few weeks ago, after a conversation at church with someone who wanted to see God supernaturally change things around them - people they cared about, for healing and salvation - I realised that several years ago I was seeking similar things from God. I was very focused on spiritual gifts, the movement of the Holy Spirit, prayer meetings, etc., but I didn't stay there. My understanding of God and His interconnectedness with me and life around me has changed so much..... But during that one conversation I found myself with very little to say. A simple truth that I have learned on my own journey was not enough for them and I simply didn't have the energy to convince them otherwise. It was pointless to try. Simply telling people the truths that I've learnt on my own journey won't change anything for them - they have to go on the journey themselves and discover life with God for themselves.
Amazingly, God also found a way to communicate to Ulf the same need for the acceptance of others' journeys. His mother sent him something of a scrapbook as a gift for our 6th wedding anniversary this year. In it were all of his meaningful emails, from the time he first left the family home (2000) to today. In his own writings he found understandings of God and Christianity which he no longer has - he has moved on, grown out of them. And he realised that just as he has been on a long and convoluted journey with God, so too can others.
The desire for peace in this matter has been in us for some time, and we are thankful to see God working on us in this way.
Above: Ulf manning our free BBQ for the first time (tonight).
